Organization XIII Dare Show
by Luddles
Summary: Alright, readers. Now is the chance to make up something with which to dare the members of Organization XIII! It can be crazy, weird, or completely absurd, and they WILL DO IT! Note: This fanfic is rated K . Please keep your dares AT THAT RATING. Thanks.
1. Introduction

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.**

**Introduction**

**Asuka:** This here's Asuka (the author) along with Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saïx, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, Roxas, and Xion!

**Axel:** So basically it's Organization XIII. And you.

**Asuka:** Yeah…

**Axel:** So why didn't you just say 'Organization XIII'?

**Asuka:** …I don't know! Stop asking dumb questions, Axel!

**Demyx:** Asuka… Why are we here?

**Asuka:** Duh! We're here to dare you guys to do random stuff! So, all readers of this fanfic, please, please, pretty please with sparkly Roxas puppy-dog eyes of doom review this story and send in things to dare the members to do! They'll do anything you dare them to!

**Xemnas:** We will?

**Asuka:** We will. Myself included.

**Xigbar:** What are you trying to DO, crazy woman!? Knowing our fans, and all!

**Asuka:** …Okay, yeah, you have a point. I'm not accepting any yaoi dares. Like… Don't dare Axel to make out with Roxas for the entire chapter.

**Axel:** WHO THE HECK WOULD DARE ME TO DO THAT!?!?

**Asuka:** You'd be surprised, my redheaded friend. You'd be surprised. Okay, GO FORTH AND WRITE UP SOME DARES! NOOOOWWWWW! *prods you with a spork*


	2. Round 1

**Asuka: Demyx! Do my disclaimer!**

**Demyx: Okay, fine. Asuka does not own Kingdom Hearts. Happy now?**

**Asuka: Very~! By the way, everyone, Demyx is going to be my co-host for this!**

**Round One**

**Asuka:** Here we go! Our first round, guys! Thanks to everyone who sent in dares, I'm sure they'll all be hilarious and slightly painful!

**Demyx:** Just so you all know, no Organization members were harmed in the making of this dare show.

**Roxas:** …Painful?

**Asuka:** *rubs hands together evilly* yes, I believe so. Alright, our first dare is from VespiaNoah190. She says "Make everyone kill the STUPID MASCOT DEMYX that Larxene was saying for everyone in a comic!"

**Everyone:** Will do! *goes off to kill the stupid mascot Demyx of which Vespia is speaking*

**Asuka:** What the heck? I FEEL SO CONFUSED! Apparently I've never read said comic. Or something.

**Xigbar:** Are you serious, Asuka? Everyone knows about that. _Everyone._

**Asuka:** Really? Everyone!?

**Xigbar:** Yeah, everyone except you.

**Asuka:** *cries*

**Demyx:** Okay, since my out-of-the-loop co-host is off hiding in the corner… I'll introduce the next dare! Our second dare of the day is from jadegirl1411. She says "Lock Axel in a room with Larxene for 2 hours". Ha! This'll be fun.

**Axel:** NOOO! *gets dragged away by his hair*

**Larxene:** Great, finally, a chance to shut that annoying redhead up for good. *evil smirk*

**Asuka:** No! Axel! You can't kill him, Larxene!

**Larxene:** Why shouldn't I?

**Demyx:** Because we've got more dares for him, that's why.

**Larxene:** … Fine.

**2 Hours Later**

**Axel:** That was TORTURE! TORTURE, I TELL YOU!

**Larxene:** Oh, come on. If I was torturing you it would have been much worse than that.

**Axel:** You're kidding, right? I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE!

**Asuka:** Come to think of it, we should have put a video camera in that room we stuck them in.

**Demyx:** How come?

**Asuka:** For the Larxel fans, of course! Okay, our third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth dares are from SadisticShadow-BoysCutrTorturd.

**Demyx:** Thanks for coming up with so many dares, SadisticShadow!

**Asuka:** She also wants us to tell Axel something for her.

**Axel:** Really? What?

**Asuka:** She says: Axel, I love you!

**Axel:** Aww, thanks!

**Asuka:** She also said that you were cute.

**Axel:** Yeah! I have fans!

**Asuka:** She also said "I got more plans to torture you and see you with your expression filled with pain, screaming in agony, bleeding, bruised, broken bones, chains, oh, sorry, getting carried away."

**Axel:** …This is gonna be worse than the Larxene dare.

**Asuka:** Then she said "I just love you so much. You're so cute. Bye-bye all and bye-bye cutie Axel."

**Axel:** …Now I just don't know what to think.

**Asuka:** How about I read you her dares!?

**Demyx:** Let's go! Third dare: Axel, burn Marluxia and any flowers he has.

**Axel:** Sweet! That sounds fun! I love you too, SadisticShadow! Even though I'm a Nobody, so technically I can't love. Whatever. *torches Marly and his flowers*

**Asuka:** Axel… just doesn't think about repercussions, does he?

**Marluxia:** *chases Axel around with scythe*

**Demyx:** Nope.

**Asuka:** The next dare is for you, Demyx. Drench Xemnas in water while he's sleeping.

**Demyx:** All-righty~! I'll tell him it was Axel.

**Asuka:** And apparently Demyx doesn't think about repercussions either.

**Vexen:** Really, sometimes I wonder if some of our members are missing their brains in addition to their hearts.

**Xemnas:** *Chases Demyx around with his lightsabers-er-I mean ethereal blades*

**Demyx:** He didn't believe me!

**Asuka:** Wow, I never would've thought. Read the next dare, Demyx.

**Demyx:** Saïx, constantly hit Luxord with your weapon and mess up his cards.

**Saïx:** *whips out Claymore*

**Luxord:** Not the cards! AGH! You're mad, all of you!

**Asuka:** No duh. Okay, the next dare is for Roxas to go to a room and get tortured in any way possible for a day. Alright, you heard her! Go get tortured, Roxas!

**Roxas:** No way!

**Asuka:** Lexaeus.

**Lexaeus:** Grabs Roxas and takes him to the torture room.

**Asuka:** We even got a new-and-improved soundproof torture room because it would be annoying to have to hear Roxas screaming for so long!

**Demyx:** *shows back up with numerous light-um, ethereal blade wounds* Yeah, we should have had that one when Larxene was torturing Axel. The pyro 'bout blew my eardrums out.

**Marluxia:** Yeah, you really scream like a girl, Axel.

**Axel:** You're one to talk, with your pink hair and roses.

**Marluxia:** Well, thanks to YOU I don't HAVE ANY MORE ROSES! *chases Axel around with the scythe again*

**Everyone Else Except Roxas:** *watches while eating popcorn*.

**Dinosaur:** Rawr.

**Xemnas:** WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?

**Asuka:** That's SadisticShadow's next dare. Run for it, guys!

**Everyone:** *runs away screaming*

**Xigbar:** WHERE ARE OUR WEAPONS!?

**Asuka:** I confiscated them for the purpose of the dare. Your magic, too. Now we have to wait for the people who were messed up by the dares (except Roxas) to start flinging porcupines.

**Xaldin:** Why porcupines?

**Asuka:** Um… because. I don't know! Why would I know!?

**Everyone:** *tired and slightly worn out* What's…next…?

**Asuka:** Demyx, you have to go into a room with nothing to do without your sitar.

**Demyx:** No! I'll get so bored my brain will melt out!

**Vexen:** You don't have one, don't worry. *locks Demyx in boring room*

**Asuka:** Now it's time to put Saïx in a room filled with pink girly stuff unable to move!

**Saïx:** Is that SadisticShadow person trying to get herself killed by an angry blue-haired man with an X on his face?

**Asuka:** I dunno, maybe. Go, go!

**Axel:** …Oh, man. That's hilarious.

**Asuka:** Well Axel, you get the final dare of the day.

**Axel:** …Great…

**Asuka:** Go in a room filled with Axel fangirls.

**Axel:** THAT'S WORSE THAN LARXENE! THAT'S WAY WORSE!

**A Few Hours Later…**

**Asuka:** Okay, Demyx, Saïx, and Axel are now being let out of their rooms.

**Demyx:** Woohoo! My sitar! Oh, how I've missed you! *glomps sitar*

**Everyone:** That's… strangely cute. Aww.

**Saïx:** I've been wondering. How come we just had a random pink frilly room in the castle?

**Asuka:** Oh, that's Larxene's room.

**Saïx:** Really? I was thinking it belonged to Marluxia.

**Asuka:** Nope. Larxene.

**Axel:** SadisticShadow, I have something to tell you… Love me less. Please…

**Asuka:** And there you have it, our first chapter! Tune in next time for more crazy dares, and please send in lots more! Bye-bye!


	3. Round 2

**Asuka: Today we have Xemnas doing my disclaimer.**

**Xemnas: Asuka Neko does not own Kingdom Hearts because she is too lame to get working and get her manga published.**

**Asuka: Shut up! And how would that change my ownership of Kingdom Hearts? **

**Xemnas: I dunno.**

**Round 2**

**Demyx: **Welcome to chapter two. Today we have SEVENTEEN dares, all from Anon!

**Asuka:** YOU ROCK, ANON! Your dares made me fall over laughing.

**Demyx:** She's telling the truth. We all thought she'd lost her marbles.

**Asuka:** Okay, first we all have to be in a classroom with Vexen as the teacher.

**Vexen:** And the square root of the positive…(blah, blah, blah, you don't want to hear the rest of what he's saying.)

**Xemnas:** *understands perfectly*

**Xigbar and Xaldin:** *also understand perfectly*

**Lexaeus:** *sitting in the back of the classroom doing nothing*

**Zexion:** *not paying attention and reading*

**Saïx:** *very, very confused*

**Axel:** ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ… (he fell asleep)

**Demyx:** … (also asleep)

**Luxord:** *playing solitaire on his iPod*

**Marluxia:** *throwing paper airplanes at Axel's head*

**Larxene:** *throwing knives at Marluxia's head*

**Roxas:** This makes no sense.

**Xion:** Agreed.

**Asuka:** Why's everybody so quiet?

**Larxene:** 'Cause Vexen would kill us if we talked.

**Demyx:** ON TO THE NEXT DARE! I'm bored with this one.

**Asuka:** All right! Xigbar, who cannot be seen or touched, shoots everyone while they try to use their magic and weapons to protect themselves. Last one standing wins. Snap. I'm gonna die.

**Demyx:** We're in a video game, you just come back to life.

**Asuka:** Ah. True.

**One hour of crazy Xigbar-evading mayhem later…**

**Asuka:** And there…you…have it… Lexaeus wins.

**Demyx:** How'd he win, anyways?

**Asuka:** He has earth magic. He just hid inside a solid wall of rock.

**Demyx:** Dare number three from Anon time!

**Asuka:** Play the quiet game and have a staring contest! STARTING…NOW!

**Larxene:** *glances at Demyx*

**Demyx:** *starts cracking up*

**Asuka:** You lose, Demyx!

**Demyx:** Well, you also lose!

**Roxas:** What's the quiet game?

**Asuka:** Roxas also loses the game!

**Axel:** Aw, man! Now I lost the game!

**Marluxia:** GAH! I lost the game!!! WAH!!! I was winning for like a whole TWO HOURS, too!

**Everyone (except Lexaeus):** MARLUXIA, YOU MADE ALL OF US LOSE THE GAME!

**Asuka:** WHAT!? Lexaeus wins this one too?

**Demyx:** He is very quiet. Anyway, next dare! Form a human pyramid. Okay, since Lexaeus won the last two dares, he can be on the top of the pyramid!

**Everyone:** *squished under Lexaeus*

**Xigbar:** Demyx, this was a horrible idea.

**Demyx:** Sorry…

**Asuka:** I'm so glad I didn't participate in that one. Okay, next Xemnas has to act like a crazy dictator!

**Xemnas:** MUAHAHA! I SHALL RULE THE WORLD! BOW TO ME!

**Everybody Else:** Not on your life.

**Asuka:** Next we have to give everybody sugar! Okay!!!

**Demyx:** But… sugar was banned from the Castle That Never Was after the hyperactive Zexion incident.

**Asuka:** The WHAT!?!?

**Zexion:** Demyx, I told you to never speak of that again.

**Demyx:** Eek! Scary angry Zexy! Okay, I won't, I won't! Next, Larxene has to shoot lighting at all of you while you're in the water! EXCEPT FOR ME!

**Asuka:** WHY YOU!?

**Demyx:** Because I am awesome.

**5 Minutes Later…**

**Asuka:** Okay, now we're all thoroughly shocked… that was painful. Very painful. Xion, get to the torture room!

**Xion:** WHAT?

**Asuka:** It's the next dare. Go.

**Xion:** I don't like getting dares anymore… *goes emo*

**Asuka:** I always knew she was emo… Oh yeah, Roxas, you have to go watch. And you can't help her or we'll attack you.

**Roxas:** *cries*

**Axel:** Geez, what a wimp.

**Asuka:** Well, he's the main character.

**Sora:** I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER! And YOU, the completely insane host, skipped right ahead to 358/2 Days and didn't play a single video game WITH ME IN IT!

**Asuka:** Aww, look, the spiky-haired Bigfoot kid is mad. Whatever, he's just not as cool as Organization XIII. He doesn't have a cloak.

**Demyx:** What's the next dare, now that Xion is done getting tortured?

**Asuka:** We have to watch a chick flick.

**Axel:** I'd prefer being stuck with Larxene again.

**One cheesy romance movie later…**

**Asuka:** That movie was awful. Final Fantasy-Advent Children was much better.

**Demyx:** I left halfway through to go play my sitar.

**Axel:** No fair! I had to sit through the whole freaking thing with Marluxia next to me SOBBING HIS EYES OUT OVER SOME CHEESY LOVE STORY!

**Marluxia: **B-b-but it was just s-so BEAUTIFUL!

**Xion:** I liked it too, Marly.

**Asuka:** That's two out of fifteen. Majority rules! It stunk.

**Demyx:** Like that cheese I left under my bed for two months!

**Asuka:** Exactly.

**Demyx:** Next dare is to give Axel a chain saw.

**Axel:** I'm still mad at Marluxia, so… *chases Marluxia around with the chainsaw*

**Marluxia:** NOOO! Not the hair! Not the hair!

**Asuka and Demyx:** *watching and eating popcorn*

**Demyx:** This is so much better than that movie.

**Lexaeus:** *grabs Axel and removes the chainsaw*

**Asuka:** Now we're supposed to… uh… chain him to a wall, bleeding, bruised, and screaming in pain. Wow, this really does sound like something Sadistic would come up with.

**Demyx:** Xigbar, you want to handle this one?

**Xigbar:** Why not? *beats Axel up and chains him to a wall in the torture room*

**Asuka:** *cries* that was mean, Xiggy. And I already don't like you.

**Xigbar:** That was the dare.

**Axel:** OWWW! That hurt!

**Asuka:** Wow, even our soundproof walls can't block that out.

**Demyx:** The next one is to make Marluxia the Superior for a day.

**Xemnas:** You mean I have to stop being an evil dictator?

**Asuka:** Yes.

**Marluxia:** Woot~! My first order of business is to… TURN THIS BORING GRAY CASTLE BRIGHT PINK!

**Asuka:** Wow. That… looks scary. The Castle that Never Was is better in gray, people.

**Marluxia:** Next I shall turn all of your cloaks pink!

**Xigbar:** NOO! I look terrible in pink!

**Demyx:** Let's move on before he turns my sitar pink.

**Asuka:** Okay, next we all have to go in a small room and Demyx will rock it out on his sitar!

**Demyx:** SWEET! *plays sitar loudly*

**Asuka:** I don't think any of us have eardrums anymore. Demyx blew them all out.

**Demyx:** Next, I have to hold my breath underwater for as long as I can! *holds his breath underwater for an absurdly long time*

**Everyone:** *gets bored and leaves*

**Demyx:** HEY! I wasn't done yet!

**Xemnas:** We're bored. And leaving.

**Asuka:** It's okay, Demyx, we all know you can hold your breath for an absurdly long time that nobody would even want to ever figure out.

**Demyx:** Fine, I guess we'd better do the next dare then.

**Asuka:** Yup! Okay, Luxord has to lose a game of poker!

**Luxord:** That's not possible.

**Asuka:** Yeah, it isn't. Anon, we cannot do this dare because it defies the laws of physics.

**Demyx:** All right, Luxord has to play poker with dogs now. Why's that?

**Asuka:** …Because, it resembles all those generic poker-playing dog pictures we've seen everywhere.

**Demyx:** It does… It does.

**Luxord:** See? I even win against dogs!

**Asuka:** Wow. Luxord also has to build a gigantic card pyramid with one of us standing in each of the spaces.

**Luxord:** *whips out his magic and builds the pyramid in 2 seconds*

**Axel:** I have to ask, how is this thing not falling over?

**Asuka:** That would be because Luxord has magic over cards.

**Luxord:** *stops using his magic, making everyone fall into a pile on the floor*

**Saïx:** Ow! I landed underneath of Lexaeus again!

**Asuka:** Ooh, that looked painful. Okay, Luxord's final dare is… confusing me.

**Luxord:** That's because you never play cards, Asuka. It says "Play 52 card pickup  
with each 15 secs gone = one 2 cards ripped." Alright. *does dare*

**Asuka:** WHAT'D HE JUST DO!?!?!?!?

**Demyx:** Wow, Asuka really doesn't ever play cards.

**Xemnas:** Asuka, it's past Demyx's bedtime…

**Asuka:** Wow, is it? All right, next dare will take place TOMMOROW MORNING! I already have it set up, too, so never fear!

**The Next Day…**

**Saïx: **(Sleep talking) Of course…Xemnas…I will do…whatever you say…

**Axel:** Gee that man is such a suck-up. Wait… WHY IS SAÏX IN MY ROOM!? Oh, wait. THIS ISN'T MY ROOM! WHY AM I IN SAÏX'S ROOM!?!?

**Saïx:** Axel! Stop shouting! And why are you in my bed!?

**Axel:** Um… I'll just get out now… Huh?

**Saïx:** We're… stuck together… by our hands!

**Axel:** Great. Just great. Now everybody's going to start rumors about me and the blue-haired freak with the X on his face. It's bad enough that people say all that stuff about him and Xemnas.

**Saïx:** I'm supposed to have wake-up duty today, too!

**Axel:** …Wait. This is part of Asuka's dare! Oh well, I guess I have to come with you then.

**Saïx:** Fine. Let's go, I have to go wake up Xion first.

**Axel:** Why Xion?

**Saïx:** I go backwards in order of ranking, because the Superior likes being woken up last.

**Axel:** Makes sense.

**Saïx:** Xion! Wake up!

**Xion:** I'm already awake, Saïx. I'm going out on my mission now, and so is Roxas.

**Saïx:** Those two are the easiest people to wake up. Ever.

**Axel:** I'm not.

**Saïx:** I know. LARXENE!

**Larxene:** Go away, Saïx, I need my beauty sleep.

**Axel:** It's not working, Larxy.

**Larxene:** WHY YOU… *throws knives at Axel*

**Axel:** *dodges the knives* Well, at least I got her to wake up.

**Saïx:** Well, apparently we have to interrupt Marluxia's beauty sleep too.

**Axel:** Marluxia doesn't need beauty sleep, he's already too pretty for his own good.

**Saïx:** I don't even know how to wake Marluxia up.

**Axel:** I've got it. *torches Marluxia's flowers*

**Marluxia:** MY PLANTS! *cries* Axel, I will get REVENGE ON YOU!

**Luxord:** What's all the racket?

**Axel:** Good, one less person to wake up.

**Saïx:** Yeah, but we have to wake Demyx up next.

**Axel:** I've got it again! Larxene's still chasing me, so… *dodges bolt of electricity and it hits Demyx, zapping him very much*

**Demyx:** YIII! That's no way to wake a person up in the morning!

**Saïx:** Well, we're already up, so it's on to…let's just leave Zexion there.

**Axel: **Or else the wrath of the emo midget will fall upon us.

**Lexaeus:** *yawn* Good morning. Why are you and Saïx holding hands, Axel?

**Axel:** SHUT UP! THIS IS NOT BY OUR CHOICE!

**Xigbar:** Axel and Saïx are WHAT?

**Axel:** Quit starting rumors, Xiggy! *tries to get away from Xigbar and runs into one of Vexen's potions, thereby blowing up Vexen's bedroom*

**Vexen:** So much for the usual wakeup call of poking me until I get up.

**Saïx:** It's his fault.

**Xaldin:** It's so his fault.

**Xigbar:** Agreed.

**Axel:** It's not my fault!

**Meanwhile, Xemnas was still sleeping peacefully and Asuka was videotaping the whole thing and laughing her head off. **

**Asuka: **Is Zexion awake yet? Zexion?

**Zexion:** Present.

**Asuka:** Good! Our second dare of the morning is for you to hit whomever you choose with a book made out of lead.

**Zexion:** *bonks Asuka*

**Asuka:** Ow! What was that for!

**Zexion:** For that comment on your website about how books make terrible weapons.

**Asuka:** I take that back. They can hurt very much.

**Demyx:** Zexion also has to walk on the ceiling or up walls all day, but not on the floor.

**Zexion:** Why? That's a really strange thing to dare me to do.

**Asuka:** Yes, but it'll be funny when you have to try and get up the spiral staircase that's not attached to any walls.

**Zexion:** …Shut it or I'll hit you with a book again.

**Asuka:** Okay, okay! Finally, we're concluding with an evil laughing contest. Our main contestants are Vexen, Xemnas, and Larxene! Show us your maniacal-ness, people!

**Vexen:** MYAHAHAHAHA!

**Xemnas:** MUAHAHAAAAAA

**Larxene:** NYEHEHEHEHEHEEEE

**Asuka:** Okay, I'll let Zexion be the judge of this.

**Zexion:** Asuka, all the blood is rushing to my head from walking on the ceiling!

**Asuka:** Fine, but who won!?

**Zexion:** Vexen…? I think…

**Marluxia:** I should win! Listen to this: ….

**Asuka:** That's more of a cackle, isn't it? My favorite evil laugh goes somewhat like this: NYAHAHA!

**Demyx:** That sounds more like you're meowing in Japanese and laughing at the same time.

**Asuka:** Whatever. Anyway, we're out! See you all next time, and hopefully next chapter won't be absurdly long!

**Axel:** WOOHOO! SADISTIC WASN'T IN THIS CHAPTER!

**Asuka:** Don't worry, Axel, she'll be back.


	4. Round 3

**Asuka: We have Lexaeus with my disclaimer today!**

**Lexaeus: …**

**Asuka: Meaning 'Asuka Neko does not own Kingdom Hearts'. **

**Round Three**

**Asuka:** And we're back!

**Demyx:** With lots of awesome dares!

**Axel:** Oh joy. If I get stuck with Larxene again, I swear, I'll kill myself.

**Asuka:** The first dare is for you, Axel.

**Axel:** Does it involve Larxene?

**Asuka:** Nope. It's from jadegirl1411 though. She's the one who locked you in the room with Larxene last time. But this time, she dares you to sing 'Dude Looks Like a Lady' to Marluxia.

**Axel:** You'd better be kidding me.

**Asuka:** Uh… no. I'm not kidding. DO IT!

**Axel:** *starts singing*

**Marluxia:** *dumps 18-foot high pile of roses on Axel*

**Axel:** Ouch! Marls, these things have THORNS!

**Marluxia:** That's the point! Haha, get it? Point!

**Asuka:** Ooh, Marly just made a bad pun. *Asuka and Demyx slow clap for Marluxia*.

**Demyx:** Okay, on to the next dare! This is for Xion, from Phantom Reviewer Jason!

**Xion:** Hopefully I don't get tortured this time.

**Demyx:** You have to… OH, GROSS! You have to kiss all the male members on the lips! Oh man, I'm so glad I'm not you. I wouldn't want to kiss Xigbar.

**Asuka:** Nobody wants to kiss Xigbar.

**Xion:** R-really? Okay… I guess I have to *goes and kisses all the guys*

**Asuka:** Jason, your other dare was…kind of inappropriate for a K+-rated fanfic. I think I rated it K+… Demyx, what's the fanfic rated? (Larxene is still not allowed to kill you for 48 hours though, she did read the dare and was going to get her knives and go all crazy psychotic nymph on you).

**Demyx:** Why should I know!? Besides, it's my turn to kiss Xion, so stop asking me questions!

**Asuka:** Demyx=desperate, I think. Organization members kind of have trouble getting dates.

**Demyx:** I am not desperate! Okay, maybe I am. Organization XIII has a shortage of girls! And Larxene is just evil, so nobody would want to date her.

**Larxene:** *glare*

**Asuka:** It's time for our special guest! One of my favorite reviewers, SadisticShadow-BoysCutrTorturd is here today!

**Axel:** HIDE ME! *jumps behind Roxas*

**Asuka:** Oh yeah, you're only a whole foot taller than him. Great hiding spot, Axel.

**Sadistic:** *glomps Axel* Axel! You're my favorite Organization XIII member. Everything about you is so cute. Your hair, eyes, tear tattoos, actions, goodness, evilness, your looks, everything. I love you!

**Axel:** …See, I can't hate you even though you torture me, because you love me so much.

**Sadistic:** But torturing cute boys makes them all the more cuter, as my name  
suggests. Their screams of agony, the pain on their faces and actions, it just  
makes my adrenaline rush and makes me want to vomit because of your cuteness.  
I just love you more!

**Asuka:** She's giving the rest of the dares for us today.

**Axel:** I'm doomed.

**Sadistic:** Oh, but this time I don't have any torturing for you, just fun!

**Axel:** If tortured is your definition of cute, what's your definition of fun?

**Sadistic:** Go get Sora, Riku, and Kairi.

**Axel:** All right, but you have to let go of me for a few seconds.

**Asuka:** Oh great, Sora's still mad at me for my comment that Roxas is the main character of Kingdom Hearts.

**Axel:** *shows back up with Sora, Riku, and Kairi*

**Sadistic:** Okay, now Marluxia can torture Sora, Zexion can torture Riku, and Larxene can torture Kairi.

**Sora:** I don't care if Asuka likes Roxas better than me! Just don't let that pink-haired creeper near me! No! NOOO!

**Marluxia:** Ehehehehehehehehehehehe…

**Asuka:** Again with the cackling, Marly.

**Sadistic:** Can we leave the soundproof-ness off so we can hear them scream?

**Asuka:** Why not?

**Sora:** AAAAAAAUUUUUGH! THE FLOWERS! THEY'RE GONNA KILL ME!

**Riku:** AGGGGHHH! Stop hitting me with books! OW! OWW!

**Kairi:** !

**Asuka:** Wow, that was like the most annoying scream ever. Why do female characters scream with such annoying voices?

**Sadistic:** I dunno, but it makes torturing her torture for us. This is why boys are cuter tortured, and not girls.

**Asuka:** The next dare is for Demyx to drench Larxene in water.

**Demyx:** Yay! DANCE WATER DANCE!

**Larxene:** That is like the cheesiest-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK! Dem-*zap*-yx!

**Demyx:** That was fun. What next, Sadistic?

**Sadistic:** Next, Saïx gets beaten up by evil bunnies.

**Asuka:** And we had a load of evil bunnies shipped in this morning! How convenient. Hey, evil bunnies! X MARKS THE SPOT!

**Bunnies:** X! *tackle Saïx's head*

**Saïx:** AAAAAGH! HELP! I'm being attacked by evil bunnies! NOOOO!

**Asuka:** That… is hilarious. This is so entertaining. We should get evil bunnies shipped here more often.

**Sadistic:** Next, Xemnas gets to punish whoever he wants by whipping them.

**Xemnas:** I'm going to punish Kairi because her screaming annoyed me.

**Kairi:** !

**Asuka:** That was dumb.

**Demyx:** Not torturing her would have worked better.

**Sadistic:** Next, Axel gets to burn more of Luxord's cards, take over the Organization for a day, and do whatever he wants. He also gets to pay back Larxene for making him scream like a girl, burn more of Marluxia's flowers, torture Roxas for leaving the Organization, torture Xion for being pathetic, eat as many sea salt ice creams as he wants, burn Zexion's books, burn Larxene's hair, destroy Vexen's science stuff, and torture Mickey.

**Axel:** …YOU ARE AWESOME, SADISTIC! *glomps Sadistic*

**Asuka:** Thus began Axel's reign of terror.

**After Axel's reign of terror…**

**Asuka: **That sure was a hectic few days.

**Sadistic:** I know, but it was AWESOME.

**Axel:** Yeah, I'm kind of sad that it's over… Xemnas decided that he was Superior again.

**Asuka:** Oh well, next, Larxene has to kiss ten frogs!

**Larxene:** GROSS!

**Asuka:** Do it. Now.

**Larxene:** *kisses frogs*

**Frog:** *turns into a prince*

**Larxene:** Oh my gosh! The frog turned into a prince!

**Frog:** What are you, an antenna-headed nymph?

**Larxene:** *kills Frog Prince with her knives* Big mistake. They are NOT antennas.

**Asuka:** They're antennas if you're fast enough to dodge the knives and the lightning.

**Sadistic:** Next, Luxord has to be upside down for two hours.

**Zexion:** Too bad. It's not pleasant.

**2 Hours Later…**

**Demyx:** Luxord passed out from the blood going to his head.

**Asuka:** Okay, next dare.

**Sadistic:** EVERYBODY TORTURE ROXAS AND XION!

**Everybody else:** All right! *torture*

**Asuka:** Ooh, that looks like it hurts. Oh, so does that. Ouch, I wouldn't wanna be them.

**Sadistic:** Next, Xemnas has to be in a room full of parrots all day.

**Parrots:** We want crackers!

**Lexaeus:** *throws Xemnas in the room*

**Xemnas:** What? I'm not a cracker! STOP EATING ME! GYAH!

**Asuka:** On to the next dare! Go, go, go!

**Sadistic:** Marluxia, Zexion, Demyx, Saïx, and Axel have to be in a room full of rabid fangirls! Sorry Axel, but I have to do that.

**Asuka:** That means me! That means me!

**Xigbar:** In what way do you qualify as a rabid fangirl?

**Asuka:** I have a picture of Demyx on my biology binder. And my History notes. And my computer. And I drew lots, too. And I JUST LOVE DEMYX! SQUEE!

**Xigbar:** I take that back, you qualify.

**Sadistic:** Now, everyone not mentioned (that means Xigbar, Xaldin, and Lexaeus) has to endure Hidan's ritual to Jashin. That's from Naruto.

**Asuka:** Wow, I didn't even know that.

**Sadistic:** I thought you were supposed to be fangirling.

**Asuka:** Well, there were yaoi fangirls trying to pair Axel and Marluxia up.

**Sadistic:** *gasp!* I must go save Axel!

**Hours Later**

**Asuka:** Oh, did the fangirls finally leave?

**Demyx:** Yeah, and I got paired up with EVERY GUY THERE!

**Asuka:** I'm sorry, Demyx. Maybe next time will be better.

**Demyx:** Speaking of, you readers, nobody has dared Asuka yet…

**Asuka:** I don't know if I WANT to be dared with the way things are going so far.

**Demyx:** Dare her to kiss Xigbar!

**Asuka:** NO! NONONONONO! I'll DIE, Demyx! Hey, dare me to kiss Demyx! Wait, no. Don't. That would be embarrassing. Don't dare me to kiss anyone.

**Demyx:** Do it. I need a girlfriend.

**Asuka:** Okay, BYE! Demyx, shut up! BYEEEE!


	5. Round 4

**Asuka: Axel is doing my disclaimer today!**

**Axel: No I'm not.**

**Asuka: YES YOU ARE. **

**Axel: Fine. Asuka doesn't own Kingdom Hearts. Better?**

**Asuka: Yay! Yes, yes!**

**Round Four**

**Asuka: **This, my friends, is the round of nicknames. And thereby it is the round in which I must be absolutely furious.

**Demyx:** Why's that?

**Asuka:** Because, a ton of my reviewers reviewed in Xemnas-nickname-language! I can't even stand to READ THAT!

**Demyx:** Not a big fan of the misspelling of Xemnas?

**Asuka:** Oh, have you noticed?

**Demyx:** Just a little.

**Asuka:** It's just… IT'S SO ANNOYING! Why, oh WHY did the author name him Xemnas!?!?!?

**Xemnas:** What nickname are you talking about?

**Asuka:** Misspell your name.

**Xemnas:** Uh…

**Asuka:** He's going to take a while. Let's get to some DARES, Demmy!

**Demyx:** Demmy?

**Asuka:** I said it was the round of nicknames. DARES, Demmy, DARES!

**Demyx:** Okay! Our first dares of the day are from JakShadow500. This one's for you, Asuka!

**Asuka:** Really? Really? My first dare! Yay!

**Demyx:** They used the Xemnas nickname you don't like, though.

**Asuka:** Aww, too bad. Oh well, just substitute a different nickname.

**Demyx:** Asuka, get a missile launcher and destroy everything that Xemmy and Saïx own.

**Asuka:** Hehe, this should be fun. *grabs missile launcher and runs off to Xemnas's room*

**Demyx:** Where'd she even get a missile launcher?

**Xigbar:** I had an extra one under my bed.

**Demyx:** You… keep destructive weapons under your bed?

**Xigbar:** Duh. What's under your bed, Demyx?

**Demyx:** I don't know… probably old socks… and maybe some cheese. Or something. But really, Xiggy, should we have trusted Asuka with that missile launcher?

**Xigbar:** Probably not. She might kill me if she gets the chance.

**Roxas:** Oh, no! We can't let her do that!

**Asuka:** *runs in with the missile launcher steaming from much usage* What's this!? The start of XigbarxRoxas? NOOOOOOOOO!

**Xigbar:** It. Is. Not.

**Asuka:** Oh, good. Xigbar pairings creep me out.

**Demyx:** Xigbar creeps you out.

**Asuka:** Yes. He does.

**Xigbar:** Give me that! *snatches missile launcher* No weapons for you, Asuka.

**Asuka:** Eh, guess it's for the best. What's the next dare, Demyx?

**Demyx:** Um… Asuka, you might wanna read this one.

**Asuka:** They want Saïx to do WHAT with Xemnas!?

**Demyx:** Apparently.

**Asuka:** I CANNOT ALLOW THIS! *grabs missile launcher from Xigbar*

**Xigbar:** Wait, I said you weren't allowed to have that! Asuka! ...We're dead.

**Organization XIII is experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.**

**Demyx:** And so, we finally got the missile launcher back from Asuka! And also, Xigbar destroyed it with his guns.

**Xigbar:** Yup, and Saïx only got hit four times!

**Saïx:** ONLY!?

**Asuka:** Just be glad we had lots of high-level potions.

**Larxene:** I have to do WHAT for the next dare!?

**Asuka:** Don't worry, Larxene, I had one of those moments today already. Just don't get a missile launcher or you'll get put in time-out in Demyx's boring room from the first chapter.

**Demyx:** Hey, Larxy isn't supposed to be reading the dares!

**Asuka:** That's right! Stop reading the dares, Larxy!

**Larxene:** Larxy? What?

**Asuka:** Haven't you heard? It's the round of the nicknames! But since we cannot do Larxene's dare either or we'll have PERMANENT technical difficulties (called being stabbed to death with knives), let's move on to Roxas's.

**Demyx:** You are dared to shave Larxene's hair, beat her up, and torture her with a chainsaw.

**Roxas:** What? That's awful! I couldn't do that!

**Asuka:** Stop being all heroic and goody-two-shoes-y and do it! You know you want to. We all want to after she electrocuted us. Because all of us have been electrocuted by Larxene at one point or another.

**Roxas:** You're right. *grabs chainsaw*

**Axel:** Wow, she looks even uglier when she's bald.

**Asuka:** Yeah. Maybe her antennas won't grow back, though.

**Larxene:** THEY ARE NOT ANTENNAS! And get that chainsaw AWAY from me, you little creep!

**Asuka:** Hey, where'd the chainsaw come from?

**Axel:** Probably under Xigbar's bed. That's where we get all our random torture devices.

**Xigbar:** Except the pink and frilly ones used to torture manly people in the Organization. Those come from Marluxia's room.

**Axel:** Do they? Do they REALLY?

**Xigbar:** Okay, those come from my room, too! But I ONLY use them to torture people!

**Asuka:** I wanna see Xigbar's room now…

**Larxene:** Is no one worried that the creepy little blonde is chainsaw-ing me!?!?

**Saïx:** That's about right.

**Asuka:** Well, if nobody wants to pay attention to Larxene being beaten up by a chainsaw-wielding Roxas, let's go on to the next dare, shall we? We are all supposed to destroy Zexion's entire library.

**Zexion:** Do it and you'll have more technical difficulties than you could ever dream of.

**Asuka:** Oh, come on. You're shorter than all of us. What are you going to do?

**Zexion:** *smirk* I have plans. Loads of them. I make them up when you guys are busy doing stupid things like making up a dare show and being glomped by fangirls.

**Axel:** That's because you have no fangirls.

**Asuka:** Demyx! DEMMMYYYYX! He called our dare show stupid! *cries*

**Demyx:** He calls everything stupid. He's Zexion, remember?

**Asuka:** Yeah… He is.

**Demyx:** Let's just do the second part of the dare and force him to wear emo clothes, okay?

**Asuka:** Sure!

**Zexion:** *now wearing black skinny jeans, a black shirt, armbands, and lots of eye makeup*

**Asuka:** Wow… it actually looks good.

**Demyx:** If I didn't know I'd get a whole slew of more Zemyx fangirls, I'd say so too.

**Asuka:** Okay, don't say so then.

**Demyx:** Got it.

**Vexen:** You morons, he just did!

**Asuka:** Vexen, do you think the emo clothes look good on Zexy?

**Vexen:** …I abstain from vote.

**Asuka:** Stupid Vexen and his stupid abstaining.

**Demyx:** Asuka is turning into Zexion!

**Asuka:** WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! NO!

**Demyx:** Okay, no, she's not. That is like the most non-Zexion-ish thing ever.

**Asuka:** All right, Smexion, you have to stay in those clothes all day. It's not part of the dare, I just said so.

**Axel:** Zexion does have fangirls and ASUKA HAS MORPHED INTO ONE!

**Asuka:** I have not, I merely enjoy calling him Smexion.

**Demyx:** …Why?

**Asuka:** It ticks him off.

**Zexion:** QUIT CALLING ME THAT!

**Asuka:** Told you.

**Demyx:** Okay, to further avoid the wrath of the emo midget, we're reading Xemnas his next dare.

**Asuka:** Kill yourself by all means possible.

**Xemnas:** But…but…b-but! I was so CLOSE! I was SO CLOSE TO FIGURING IT OUT!

**Axel:** What? How to build Kingdom Hearts?

**Roxas:** How we can stop being Nobodies?

**Asuka:** The name of Marluxia's secret (although it's really not secret at all) online girlfriend!?

**Axel:** I swear, it's really a guy.

**Asuka:** We all know it's really a guy.

**Roxas:** I didn't!

**Demyx:** I didn't!

**Axel:** And I don't think Marluxia does.

**Asuka:** I hope Marly doesn't. Oh yeah, Xemnas, what did you almost figure out?

**Xemnas:** What my name spells when you mix up the letters.

**Axel:** Mansex. Go die.

**Asuka:** *GASP!*

**Demyx:** He said it.

**Roxas:** …He said it.

**Demyx:** He said it! WATCH OUT!

**Asuka:** NONONONONOOOOO! Axel! HOW could you!? That is my least favorite nickname EVER!

**Xemnas:** Okay, since I figured it out I'll go die.

**Asuka:** *hiding in Zexion's emo corner* He said it. He said it. He said it. He said it.

**Zexion:** Asuka, stop it. I want my corner back.

**Xemnas:** Hey, shouldn't you guys be worried about your leader about to kill himself here?

**Zexion:** Oh no. Our leader is dying. I'm so worried. There, did that make you feel better?

**Xemnas:** That was totally emotionless! You're terrible! I'm going to go kill myself!

**Axel:** Good, that's what you're supposed to be doing.

**Xemnas:** Uh… how do I do that?

**Asuka:** Just jump off your chair. Wait, Xemmy, how do you even get on that chair?

**Xemnas:** …Good question. *stabs himself with the lightsabereal blades and dies*

**Asuka:** Great, now we have to clean all that up.

**Roxas:** It's a video game. He'll come back to life.

**Asuka:** Okay, good, now we can get back to the dares! Kairi! Wait, where's Kairi?

**Zexion:** Sora got mad that you didn't play the video game with him in it, then took Kairi and Riku and left.

**Demyx:** He took Kairi? She's our dare-ee!

**Asuka:** He took Riku!? He's a hottie!

**Axel:** Doesn't matter who you're talking about, I'm always hotter.

**Larxene:** What a shame. She was going to be slapped by Xion and then her house was going to get burned down.

**Asuka:** Larxy, we TOLD you to stop reading the dares!

**Larxene:** Well, the next one is for Axel to destroy Demyx's face and hair… Which the reviewer said was ugly.

**Asuka:** …

**Larxene:** Ugly as in UGLY with all caps.

**Asuka:** …*growl*

**Demyx:** ………….WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Not my HAIR! And my FACE! *cries, chibi-fies, and looks absolutely and completely as adorable as Demyx could ever look in his entire life*

**Asuka:** DEMMY IS ADORABLE! NOT UGLY!

**Axel:** JaxShadow500, you have officially alerted the angry fangirl inside of her. Congrats. And I'm not going to mess with Dem's hair and stuff. I don't feel like dying a very painful death.

**Asuka:** *rampages angrily*

**Axel:** …We're doomed.

**Demyx:** Axel, if you decide to mess with my hair, you'll need someone to write your obituary.

**Axel:** Okay, people, on a scale of 1-10, Asuka's obsession with Demyx and me would be A BILLION!

**Asuka:** Oh, come on. That's a little bit of an exaggeration.

**Demyx:** …*gives Asuka an oh-no-it's-not look*

**Asuka:** Fine. It's true. I am obsessed with Demyx. And Axel. But mostly Demyx. Wait, no, mostly Axel. No… I like Demyx. But Axel too.

**Larxene:** Maybe you should just be an AxelxDemyx fangirl.

**Asuka:** NEVERRRRRR!

**Larxene:** Can we puh-lease move on to the next dare! It sounds interesting!

**Asuka:** Sure, what is it? Wait! I'm supposed to announce the dares! Out of the way, Baldy Once-Antennaed-Nymph!

**Larxene:** You say that again, I stab you.

**Asuka:** Meep! Okay, I won't, I won't~! All right, people, the next dare is to torture our favorite freezing fellow with his own experiments.

**Demyx:** Vexen is not my favorite anything.

**Asuka:** I know, but it made a nice alliteration.

**Axel:** But we don't have any of his experiments to torture him with!

**Asuka:** All right, me and Demyx will just sneak into his lab all ninja-like and steal a random and interesting-looking potion and then slip it into a drink and give it to Vexen! It's a tried-and-true plan!

**Axel:** Why do I highly doubt anybody would actually USE that plan?

**Asuka:** I saw it in an anime once. ONWARD, DEMMY!

**Demyx:** Onward! To the lab!

*Mission Impossible music*

**Asuka:** Okay, we are in Vexen's lab now. It's FREEZZZZZZIN' in here! So…COLD! How can that ice-loving nerd stand it!?

**Demyx:** I dunno, but let's get out of here before the water clones I have guarding the door turn into ice clones.

**Asuka:** Got it. Find a cool-looking potion, Demmy.

**Demyx:** Ooh! A blue one! It's sparkly!

**Asuka:** Oh, it's so pretty! Good job, Demyx! Now we've just got to find something to put this in.

**Demyx:** Maybe we can use some of Luxord's rum and he can be drunk AND potion-ed.

**Asuka:** BRILLIANT!

*Asuka and Demyx return*

**Asuka:** Hey, Vexen, drink this!

**Vexen:** Okay… Wait, you guys aren't trying to poison me or something, are you?

**Asuka:** Why would we do that?

**Vexen:** Zexion tried it last week.

**Demyx:** It's for the dare show, so you have to drink it.

**Vexen:** Fine. *drinks potion* Better?

**Asuka:** Uhm… Demmy, nothing's happening.

**Demyx:** Hey, Vexen, totally off-topic question, but what was in that bottle of pretty blue potion that was in your lab.

**Vexen:** You put that in there, didn't you?

**Asuka:** No! Of course not!

**Vexen:** I find that hard to believe. Anyway, it was a potion to neutralize drunkenness.

**Asuka:** Oh. So if we put it in some of Luxord's rum and gave it to you, it wouldn't do anything?

**Vexen:** STAY OUT OF MY LAB, YOU DUMB BLONDES!!

**Asuka:** Vex, you're blonde too.

**Vexen:** SHUT UP!

**Asuka:** Ooh! Looky! Lexaeus is dared to beat up everyone… EXCEPT ME!

**Lexaeus:** *beats up the Organization members*

**Asuka:** Thank you, Jak! I'm not getting beaten up~! This is fun~! GAH! LEXAEUS, STOP BEATING UP DEMMY! *cries*

**Demyx:** I'm all right, Asuka, I had a potion with me.

**Asuka:** Oh, good. Let's do a different dare now, then.

**Demyx:** Next dare is to shave Xaldin's head and strip him of his clothes… which, honestly, NOBODY, not even any Nobodies, WANTS TO SEE.

**Asuka:** I don't wanna see that.

**Axel:** Me too.

**Lexaeus:** Neither do I.

**Asuka:** See? It's a mutual agreement. We don't want to see that, and Xaldin doesn't want that done to him! EVERYBODY'S HAPPY!

**Demyx:** Except Xemnas, who is being beat by Lexaeus at the moment.

**Asuka:** He doesn't count. Alright, see you later, people! We'll be back with more dares next chapter! Glomps from all of us!

**Demyx:** Even Zexion! He love you too, deep, deep, deep, DEEP down.

**Axel:** Adios.

**By the way… about the potion thing… blue is my favorite color, so naturally me and Demyx like it. **


	6. Round 5

**Roxas: Hello! I'm doing the disclaimer today. Asuka doesn't own Kingdom Hearts, she just loves us all and writes fanfics about us a lot. *grins cutely***

**Asuka: D'aww… that was adorable, Roxas! Roxas is so cute~!**

**Round 5**

**Asuka**: Hello, brave and intrepid readers. You have discovered Round 5 of the Organization XIII Dare Show. (Today, all our dares are from Portable Eskimo)

**Demyx:** Well, looking at the first dare we got, I think Leon needs to be the brave and… whatever you said after that… one.

**Asuka:** Yes. Yes he does. He is going where no man has gone before! But Larxene has. And Marluxia.

**Marluxia:** I'm a man! Come on!

**Asuka:** You're not manly enough to be called a man, Marly.

**Demyx:** Anyway, before we get scythed, I'll read the dare. We are supposed to… POUR GASOLINE ON AXEL AND HAVE HIM FIGHT LEON!

**Asuka:** This could be dangerous.

**Demyx:** Don't try this at home, kids. Also, don't try jumping up and down on your bed while playing the sitar at the same time. Particularly if your sitar has large spiky things used for fighting Heartless on it.

**Asuka:** That sounds dangerous.

**Demyx:** Yeah, I kind of didn't realize that until after I already tried it…

**Asuka:** Anyway, Xigbar gave us a TON of gasoline… why did Xiggy have so much gas, anyways?

**Demyx:** The world may never know! Axel! Get over here!

**Asuka:** Demyx has to do the pouring because Axel's fire doesn't affect him very well. While he does that, I'll be talking to Leon. So, Leon, how do you feel about this?

**Leon:** I feel like I may need an actual psychologist after spending too long with the Organization.

**Asuka:** I… wasn't trying to imitate a psychologist. Hey, Mr. Dancing Flames Flurry-kun is after you now. Have fun, Leon! *gets out of there so she doesn't get toasted by Axel*

**Demyx:** We're behind a special fireproof wall to watch this, and I have to say, it's very entertaining.

**Asuka:** I thought Leon was supposed to be fighting, not running for his life…

**Demyx:** Ah, same difference. When it comes to Axel, fighting him is like running for your life and occasionally trying to attack. But then you usually lose. Except me, because I just dump him into a pool of water.

**Asuka:** Somebody ought to teach him how to swim.

**Demyx:** True. It's embarrassing when we go to the beach and he has to use that duck floatie.

**Asuka:** Wow, Dem, that's going to go down in the history of all the embarrassing moments of Axel's life. By the way, did you by burn ointment?

**Demyx:** *takes a tiny tube of burn ointment out of his pocket* Yeah, but I doubt this will be enough once Axel gets through with him.

**Asuka:** Yeah… what'll we do about that?

**Leon:** *shows up severely burned* will somebody call 911?

**Asuka:** All right, but I don't see why… DEMYX! MARLUXIA!

**Marluxia:** Yes? How bad did Flurry-chan damage our Final Fantasy crossover character?

**Asuka:** Fairly bad.

**Axel:** You guys, the round of the nicknames is over.

**Asuka:** But the round of Axel and gasoline has barely started… Ehehehehee…

**Leon:** *dies*

**Demyx:** Actually, Asuka, we didn't get any more dares about Axel and gasoline. We did get one to pour water on Larxene, though.

**Asuka:** Okay, let's do that, then! Demyx, pour some water on our nymph!

**Demyx:** Yay! All right!

**Asuka: **You know, a nymph is a baby bug. They're gross-looking.

**Larxene:** *zap* Demyx *zap* what *zap* was *zap* that *zap* for!?

**Asuka:** For the dare show! Hyuu~! Oh… wait… Dem-dem… she has to hug us now.

**Demyx:** NOOOO!

**Larxene:** I *zap* hate *zap* hugs!

**Asuka:** Oh. Well, less electric shocks for us, then.

**Demyx:** Next, we are asking Luxord to speed up time and see if Vexen dies of old age.

**Luxord:** All right. I'll turn the time back once I'm done with all this.

**Time is currently being warped. Oh yeah, Organization XIII is SO beyond the laws of physics! **

**Asuka: **So, Luxord, what did you find?

**Luxord:** I went ALL THE WAY to the end of the world, and he was STILL THERE!

**Axel:** WHAT!? He really IS immortal!?

**Asuka:** Demmy! OUR THEORY WAS CORRECT!

**Asuka and Demyx:** KYAAAAAAAAHH!

**Luxord:** What was your theory?

**Asuka:** Vexen is an alien.

**Demyx:** He came from Mars and he's hiding his spaceship in a secret underground lab in Castle Oblivion, and he's plotting to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

**Axel:** You two are insane.

**Asuka:** We know it. But the next dare is crazier than a caffeinated Roxas.

**Axel:** That's a pretty high level of crazy.

**Asuka:** All the Organization members must fight each other without weapons or magic.

**Demyx:** No! I'm gonna get killed!

**Asuka:** I'll commentate for you. Okay, to start the match off, Zexion bonked Demyx in the head (probably for that comment a second ago), but it doesn't look like it really hurt, Zexion's kind of scrawny. Saïx and Axel are pretty much going all-out crazy fighting on each other, whilst Roxas is backing away into a corner and trying to pretend he doesn't exist. Oh! And Xiggy takes a flying kick to the nose by Xion… Ha, you got beat up by a girl, Xigbar!

**Xigbar:** Shut up!

**Asuka:** No! I'm commentating! Oh, she kicked him again. That looked painful. Really painful, actually. But more funny than anything. Marluxia is just running around in panicky circles, being chased by Larxene and Vexen. Luxord and Xaldin are having a pretty awesome battle… well, that is until Lexaeus decided to help Luxord out. Xaldin's history, now. Demyx is… Come ON, Demyx, you're my favorite Organization member, you should be able to fight better than THAT! You're getting beat on by a kid half your size!

**Zexion:** I am not short!

**Demyx:** He's angry at me! Help! Asuka!

**Asuka:** Eskimo-chan said 'The Organization Members' not 'The Organization Members and Asuka'. So I'm not allowed in the fight. Sorry, Dem-dem, I'd take him out if I was… YEAH! Axel just beat Saïx! HYUU~! Go Axel! Um… Because Xigbar was being taken out by a girl, he went to go attack Roxas instead. And Roxas is just running away. What a spineless hero *shakes head in sadness*.

**Roxas:** Asuka! You're mean!

**Asuka:** Hey, you may be an invertebrate, but you're a cute one!

**Roxas:** Aww, thanks!

**Axel:** Wow, you really had him going there, Asuka.

**Asuka:** I meant it. Now Axel, go help Roxas out!

**Axel:** Why don't YOU try it? Oh, wait, you're afraid of Xigbar!

**Asuka:** Yes. I am. Okay, in order to make sure nobody dies, we're going to end this dare and go on to the next one.

**Demyx:** THANK YOU! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

**Asuka:** And the next dare is to sic Vexen on Demyx.

**Demyx:** Thank…wait… NO THANK YOU! I don't wanna! Don't… Vexen…

**Vexen:** Hey, Demyx, I have a new experiment to try out… would you like to test it?

**Demyx:** ! Help me! *runs away with Vexen chasing him.*

**Asuka:** I'm sorry, Demyx… it was the dare.

**Demyx:** Can you call him off before he poisons me!?

**Asuka:** Alright, that sounds fair. Vexen, no using other members as test subjects.

**Vexen:** Oh, Asuka, I've broken that rule plenty of times.

**Axel:** Yeah, like that time you gave me that one concoction that gave me boils somewhere NOBODY would want to have boils!

**Asuka: **Where were they?

**Demyx:** Yeah, I don't remember you having any boils.

**Axel:** They weren't in a place anyone else normally sees.

**Asuka:** Nor would anyone WANT to see, from the sounds of it.

**Demyx:** Except maybe Sadistic.

**Asuka:** What? All she wants to do is torture him!

**Demyx:** *raises eyebrows* You sure about that?

**Asuka:** YES! YES, I'm sure! Completely certain! I think!

**Axel:** That was VERY convincing.

**Asuka:** Yes, I know it was. Now, Axel, take this flamethrower and go into Marluxia's garden. It's the next dare. Do with it what you will.

**Marluxia:** NOOO! Don't let that pyromaniac near my precious plants!

**Lexaeus:** *grabs Marluxia and restrains him*

**Asuka:** Your 'precious'? Sounds Gollum-ish to me. How 'bout you, Demmy?

**Demyx:** I agree with the Gollum-ish-ness of Marluxia when it comes to his plants.

**Asuka:** Don't worry, Marly, he might decide not to torch your plants with the flamethrower!

**Marluxia:** If he does, I will kill him.

**Asuka:** But if he doesn't, you have to not attempt to kill him, got it?

**Marluxia:** Fine. But Axel is going to be dead, because everyone knows that he will torch my plants! MY PREEEECIOOOOOOUUUUS!

**Demyx:** Yeek! Scarier than Gollum, even!

**Axel:** (In Marluxia's garden) *looks at flamethrower* Why do I even need this thing? I'm a human flamethrower, after all… *throws flamethrower aside and torches the plants with his magic*

**Asuka:** So, if we were in Lord of the Rings, who would be Frodo?

**Demyx:** Uh…

**Axel:** *comes back in* Hey. I'm back.

**Marluxia:** !! Now I check on my plants! *runs into the garden and then back in, considerably angrier* He… BURNED THEM WITH THE FLAMETHROWER!!

**Axel:** Actually, I didn't burn them with the flamethrower. I burned them with my magic.

**Marluxia:** I'm GONNA KILL YOU!

**Asuka:** Hey! You said you would kill him if he burned them with the flamethrower! He burned them with his magic, which is not the same thing, so you can't kill him!

**Axel:** By the way, that flamethrower had a leak. You guys should really take care of that.

**Asuka:** Alright, well, now that we've restrained Marluxia (again) we can get to the next dare.

**Axel:** You don't CARE!?

**Asuka:** Not really. I'm not too concerned about leaky flamethrowers. We've got a backup supply of non-leaky ones.

**Demyx:** Next, we have to torture Xaldin upside down, and Lexaeus gets to use Saïx as a punching bag.

**Asuka:** AWESOME! Lexaeus, go to work!

**Lexaeus:** *starts beating on Saïx*

**Saïx:** Why, you…! Cut that out! *tries to attack Lexaeus and just gets hit again*

**Asuka:** You can't fight back, because it's a dare. Also, Lexaeus is your superior. That gives him the right to hit you.

**Marluxia:** Ah, so since I'm Larxene's superior… *winks at Larxene*

**Axel:** Superiority, however, gives you no right to hit _on_ anyone.

**Asuka:** Besides, Larxene? Really, Marly? You can do better than that.

**Axel:** Like what, Xion?

**Asuka:** Oh, that's true… but Larxene has to be worse than Xion, right?

**Axel:** Um… I think they're pretty much the same, just annoying in different ways.

**Marluxia:** That sounds right.

**Asuka:** All right, time to find Xaldin! Upside-down time!

**So, how many Organization members does it take to hang someone upside-down from the ceiling?**

**Asuka: **They would not comply with my request of hanging him by his toenails.

**Vexen:** He'd just fall down faster that way.

**Asuka:** He would?

**Vexen:** Laws of physics, already!

**Asuka:** But… but I thought the Organization defied the laws of physics!

**Vexen:** We only do that sometimes.

**Asuka:** Ah. I see. Luxord can defy the laws of physics. And space-time and stuff.

**Vexen:** Yes, but that's just Luxord.

**Asuka:** He's awesome.

**Vexen:** No he's not!

**Asuka:** He's British. Therefore he's awesome.

**Vexen:** Why do the British guys always get fangirls? I want to have fangirls!

**Asuka:** Keep dreaming. And for all of you out there in fanfic-land, keep reading! Bye!


End file.
